Recognizing and celebrating our accomplishments has positive effects on our well-being, self-confidence, and motivation … not to mention our salaries, promotions, and job prospects.
But many people (especially women) have been taught not to “brag” on themselves. Girls were taught “modesty norms” while boys were taught they cannot succeed without celebrating and telling everyone what they’ve accomplished. If you fall into an intersectional category including other marginalized identities, you are at even more of a disadvantage compared to the dominant majority in business.
But it’s not bragging if we’re discussing facts. And contrary to what we were told, our accomplishments do not speak for themselves. “If you build it, they will come” is only true – maybe – in fiction.
Join me in a structured conversation in which you’ll share one of your successes with two other people, and then hear how that impacts them.
It’s truly a gift, hearing other people’s successes, and thinking about what you might learn and use for yourself! I’ve picked up many facilitation moves and ideas and inspiration each time I’ve participated in or led this activity.
But the impact on the person who’s SHARED their successes is what really makes this activity GLORIOUS! I think too often we gloss over our successes, or believe we can only share them in very specific ways in order not to be seen as “too much.” But when we can share in this specific environment, and be HEARD, and SEEN, and VALUED … it can have a powerful impact on our psyche.
You don’t have to have an advanced degree from a prestigious school … or a degree from anywhere! You don’t have to have flashy successes that make headlines in the media. (Or you can — either of these are wonderful!) But certainly you’ve achieved some success, even if nobody else has ever heard of it. And we want to hear from you what that is that you’re proud of achieving.
Here are some examples of what you might share in this exercise:
- Something as prominent as having spearheaded a major initiative at work (be sure to pick something in which you had considerable agency, not something your whole organization did and you were just a participant)
- Something as flashy as having given a TEDTalk or TEDxTalk which allows you to have a larger reach beyond your daily life
- Something as quiet as FINALLY figuring out how to use Google Sheets to automate some important data collection (i.e., something that took a lot of effort to reach success with high impact on your work-life, but nobody sees it but you)
- A situation in which colleagues were in conflict and couldn’t find a path through on their own, but which you mediated successfully so everyone could “play well together” moving forward
- A situation with an unhappy client who considered departing but you managed to make them happy and stay on
- Helping a child or a friend or your partner through a tough time, and hearing how impactful your listening and your actions were to help them through
- Or many many other possibilities!
The data shows the power of this activity.
Self-promotion matters: Showing and speaking about the value of our work is essential to our progression on the job, and our well-being.
- Only 1 in 2 employees feel their managers make sure they get credit for their work.
- Celebrating our achievements can boost our self-confidence and motivate us to achieve more.
It’s not just our own beliefs about self-promotion that can pose barriers: the responses and reactions we get from other people can challenge our ability to self-promote.
Commonly held stereotypes can influence how we perceive the competence of people across many identities, including race, gender, age, ability and neurodiversity.
- Unconscious, implicit bias is real and harmful to our communities as well as the individuals within them.
Bias can cause you to:
- Miss or question the achievements around you
- 55 % of black women leaders have had their judgment questioned, compared to 39 % of all women and 28 % of all men
- Speak up less or create a higher bar for sharing your achievements
- 1 in 2 employees have been mocked for their accent in social settings
In contrast, being inclusive can:
- Improve psychological safety in relationships, such as teams or families
- 90 % of employees on teams where everyone’s work is valued feel greater psychological safety
- Foster more creativity, solutions and product development
- 14% higher revenue from innovation (enhanced or new products) for companies with diverse employees, than those that don’t
Research shows that…
- 90% of employees on teams where everyone’s work is valued feel greater psychological safety [US and Canada]
- 14% higher revenue from innovation (enhanced or new products) for companies with diverse employees, than those that don’t [SE Asia]
For more, check this article from the Wall Street Journal.
Luci McKean Culture & Collaboration Consulting 